Complaints Department

Thank you for calling the customer complaints department.  We are sorry but all our representatives are busy at the moment.  You will be put on hold as soon as one beomes available.  Alternatively if you have a touch tone keyboard you can avail of our fax-back service which deals with the most common problems you may encounter.  Please press:

1. To redirect your complaint to /dev/null
2. For an immediate NAK to your query
3. To rejoin the end of the queue.

Thank you for connecting to the complaints department.  We really look forward to hearing from you again in the near future.

Yours automatically,

The complaints department.